Too ADD for MFA

by Joni Abilene

I was thinking about how much I’d love to go for an MFA, but at the same time I think, dear God no. See, here’s my long, complicated problem: I wrote a book of interconnected shorts stories (as I’ve mentioned before). They’re good stories, very down-to-earth, dust and breath, meat and potato stories. Maybe slightly abstract, laced with satire. But anyway, if I had an MFA I would be that much closer to being a pro at this thing. I’d get some respect (said in best Rodney Dangerfield voice). However, would an MFA guarantee me being a better writer? I’m not so sure. Perhaps technically better. But you can’t buy voice and style and instinct. What if I went and all that stuff was squeezed out of me and there’s no more of my curiosity for small towns and quirky people? What if I end up writing beautiful vignettes with no humor? What if ? What if? The real problem is I don’t (read: currently want to give up) have the money or time. And I’m a little bit ADD.

But anyway the problem is if no one publishes my stories, then no one will publish my book. I’m screwed. Here’s my solution. I’m going to read a lot. And write a lot. And submit a lot. And wait.

*Hey, the sun just came out. Yay!*

I still take a lot of pride in the fact that one of my stories opens with the word ‘clitoris.’ No one else can say that. No one would be proud about it, but hey, it’s the little things (har har).