Soft Serve

by Joni Abilene

I don’t live in Arizona, but if I did, and if I needed birth control or a pap smear or ANY OF THAT OTHER STUFF, boy, I’d be out of luck. Also, if I looked like an illegal, and was driving around without my blonde wig and sunglasses getup, I might be in trouble. All because some tax payin’, oh wait, non-tax payin’ folks who are tired of trying to sign jobs bills and stuff like that, don’t want to see their hard-earned taxable (in a certain bracket) income used for sexually active members of the human race who just happen to be female.

But I live in Kansas where it’s still okay to have a female reproductory system (for now), but I can’t get a grant for my writing because all the arts funding got flushed down the loo, and now some fast food joint manager is managing the arts council. Yay. Not that I have anything against fast food places or the people who work there. Maybe a new grant could be issued with a coupon for a free twisty cone with every MFA.

I think it’s a real good idea to strip society of any chance it has to succeed or make wise, informed decisions. That way, we can suffer and think real hard, like dogs with our nose in feces, about what we’re really doing here on earth. Never make a mistake, never be bad. It’s the new American way.