We have a long way to go, baby

by Joni Abilene

Yesterday I covered a topic that I knew might get a little unwanted attention. After ten minutes I deleted it. The world isn’t ready. It just isn’t ready. The topic was a reevaluation of the male-female marriage and the harm caused to both sides, but especially the female aspect. After posting a link with the title, “A ban on opposite-sex marriage,” I instantly lost a follower on twitter. Now, I’m not one to care about things like that, however, it was a very important follower. And yet still I would never erase my words if I, again, hadn’t overwhelmingly felt the topic too much for the world. It was.

This past week PBS aired a special called Makers: Women Who Make America. It was beautiful. It was inspiring. It was probably only watched by women, and not even all women, those who were part of the history, or who currently found themselves in the position to glean something. It really was very well done.

Am I some kind of feminist? I’m getting there. I’ve seen enough to know now that I should be. But I want to tell you something, a woman can’t just live in this world and be part of it. She must find ways to battle through or she will never experience the world in its fullness. She must fight. And by fight I mean, she cannot rest on the scraps thrown to her. We vote, we wear pants, we can drive a car, straddle a horse, smoke a cigarette, show our face because we fought for it. There will always be opposition. And we should always fight. They want to take away our right to have an abortion, but if that isn’t enough, they want to take away access to the pill and many other aspects of a women’s health. Why are they doing this? you ask. Insecurity. Fear. Domination, and if you think it isn’t, then you are wrong. Men still want to dominate, and we still have to fight.

The world still needs fixing.

Now, for the men who are reading this, I don’t want you to get upset. I love men. I believe in men. You are beautiful. But you need change, too. You need to fight, too. Don’t fall into your insecurity. Don’t rest on your instincts. Fight them. If you truly want balance in this world, then you must forget all that was taught you. Learn to cry, learn to be vulnerable. Transform. There is great transformative power inside you. Don’t be afraid.

Many years ago John Lennon wrote a controversial song with a racist term in the title, “Woman is the n****r of the world.” You can guess what the word is, but I will not type it because I don’t wish to hurt others. He actually didn’t use the world to be racist; he used it to prove a point. One the world wasn’t ready for. However, the damage was done and once again all the valuable words inside the song became lost in time:

We insult her every day on TV/ then wonder why she has no guts of confidence/ when she’s young we kill her will to be free . . .

We kill her will to be free. But we must be free. We must.