Whatever Gets You Through the Night (or day) ((or afternoon))

by Joni Abilene

Two-Page Joni, that’s what they call me. Every day I sit down and extract brain to fingers at least two pages of something, be it literary or lunacy. Perhaps a bit of both. Yes, definitely both. And then I pick a kid up from school. Do dishes, laundry, read. Every day’s the same. The only thing different is the weather, and even that remains unchanged sometimes so that each day clings to the other in an unending loop of bland. Why do I do it? What urges me to commit myself to such a boring and unflinching existence that would drive even a nun to flash her titties at a Mardi Gras parade? Hope. Determination.

Oh yes, and I live in Kansas. One of the most boring places on earth. There used to be Indians running around scalping people, and while I don’t wish for something like that, it would be exciting to see it happen to say . . . maybe a neighbor. But that stuff don’t happen ’round here no more. So I gotta make up stuff. You know, sex, drinkin’, shootin’. All that stuff. I amuse myself. Yep. Some folks call it crazy, but I call it fun.

Two pages a day. It saves me. I stopped smokin’ the cancer stick over ten years ago, so I gotta get my kicks outta something. I choose  words. Good old, reliable words. One after the other. Two pages worth, every day.