What’s the big idea?

by Joni Abilene

After a long walk the other morning in which my mind wandered just enough so that ‘I’ personally relinquished control of what I was thinking, and how I was thinking, I came upon a great idea that seemed to be sourced from another person’s brain cells. Truly, this was given to my by an otherworldly source. What bothered me was that my story collection lacked something, something small yet ultimately grandiose, and I didn’t feel comfortable publishing it as-is. I’m not one to set the stage for ridicule and public shaming. In other words, I’m a perfectionist. In other other words, self-publishing scares the shit out of me. There’s nothing wrong with being scared. It’s my higher self saying, “You didn’t do your best.” So anyway, the idea that came to me was to section out the strongest stories from that collection and put them together with some of my other shorts—they all have that suburban, 1970′s thing going on—as a newer, better collection. It may sound like desperation, but it’s actually brilliant. I feel much better now about publishing this, including all the subsequent marketing I might have to do.

So, my goal for the last few strains of 2013, and the beginning warm ups of 2014, is to get this thing into proper shape and, gulp, self-publish. The whole thing will continue to scare me no matter what, but it’s more like a gentle scared, not a terrified scared. Well, we’ll see. I’m George Costanza with a vagina, so . . .